"a dust whom England bore, shaped, made aware..."

"I am nervous, I own, and may think myself worse than I really am... I look back upon... the ecstasies in which I have passed some days and the miseries in their turn, I wonder the more at the Beauty which has kept up the spell so fervently... Now I have had opportunities of passing nights anxious and awake I have found other thoughts intrude upon me. "If I should die," said I to myself, "I have left no immortal work behind me - nothing to make my friends proud of my memory - but I have loved the principle of beauty in all things, and if I had had time I would have made myself remembered."" 

- Keats to Fanny Brawne

The past week has been one of extreme highs and lows; spending some days curled up on the sofa, others dancing around the apartment to my newest favourite song, exploring Malmö with a dear friend, crying myself home along the dark swedish lanes, listening with wonder to the sweet birdsong in the early mornings.

 - journal entry, wednesday 9 march -
I could see a sliver of a peach-tinged sky from the gaps in the blinds this morning. The cycle to work filled me with pleasure - the sun finally breaking over parts of the hilly landscape in Sankt Hans and casting long rays over the grass; turning the silver carpet of frost to a warm gold. Waking up has been so hard of late, but the cycle almost always makes up for it.

snow in sankt hans on sunday afternoon.

 On saturday I celebrated my birthday, and had the privilege to share it with Anna by exploring Malmö, eating at Misoteket, talking about my already-arranged marriage (??), and being gifted with an beautiful handcrafted pot. I also received some beautiful cards and presents, amongst them a notepad from Eva, Nicklas, and Linus, and a whole package of things from my sister, including an exquisite little handpainted plate.

The notepad is now my new journal. With such a beautiful thing I have decided to make a wholehearted effort to work hard on this journal; rather than using up the pages documenting my existential crisis over not being an adequate writer/journaller (usually about 60% of the contents of my journals) I have decided it is time to give this one a Purpose - "to record more fully, eloquently, with purpose, and at length'. Spending so much of my degree studying Victorian literature, with its intricately detailed diary entries (whether fictional, or real) of near-transcripts of conversations and exciting daily events has somewhat spoilt me. How hard it is to recreate that, and not just scribble down the first mundane thoughts that pops into one's head and a brief overview of the day (or increasingly, week)... something that I almost unerringly end up doing. Wish me luck.

 I am so thankful for all of the people who have kept me in their minds. The song I've been dancing to this week is Ghengis Khan by Miike Snow. The video is great in every way, from the editing to the story to the dance moves (...especially the dance moves).

"You are after all 'a dust whom England bore, shaped, made aware, / Gave, once, her flowers to love, her ways to roam / A body of England's... / Washed by rivers, blest by suns of home...'"

- l.g. to j.g. quoting Rupert Brooke

Summer time

About 10 minutes ago, I submitted my final assessed piece for my second year at university, which means... summer's here! It also means the return of more outfit posts, and of more cooking!
First off, here's a picture of what I wore to church on Sunday. You may notice a few things that are different about me, the main one being I'VE HAD A CHANGE OF HAIR! It is now a lot shorter and very extremely black. I'm still getting to grips with styling it, but I thought a '30s bob would be good for summer, especially as there is no air conditioning where I work! Also, I realise that I look a little tired/disheveled, and red lipstick-less...

Dress: charity shop
Cardigan: this got left at our house by a friend of my sister's, so I nicked it.

Bag: vintage store. This was a present from my mam.

 This is what my hair looked like on the day of the Great Chopping-Off once it had been styled by my hairdresser:

 And a couple of days after, in the midst of essay-editing...

What else have I been up to? Well, cooking, for a start. When I say cooking, I really mean visualising doing cooking, as we have had lots of people staying at our house over the past couple of days (including two fantastic American pianists!), so I have decided to spend my time leafing through my new copy of 'Mastering the Art of French Cooking' by Julia Child, Louisette Bertholle and Simone Beck, and choosing some recipes from there. I have also focused on making my lunches healthier, tastier, and prettier. Here's what I came up with from earlier this week:

Top left: spinach and basil paste with creme fraiche and tomatoes. Top right: spinach and basil paste with cranberry sauce, walnuts and blue cheese. Bottom: Creme fraiche, spinach and basil paste, gherkins, tomatoes and sesame seeds.
What is "spinach and basil paste" I hear you ask? Well, it is a handful or two of spinach leaves, blended with a couple of sprigs of fresh basil, a glug of olive oil, salt and pepper, and a teaspoon of grainy mustard. It is the most vibrant-looking spread I've ever made!

I spent all of Saturday afternoon in great celebration from finishing the writing of my essays, and decided to do a little bit of sketching/painting/general arty-fartyness. This is the result: a mixed-media piece of Mads Mikkelsen as Dr. Hannibal Lecter:

Well, I think it's time to get out of the house and into the sunshine, so I'll leave it here for now! I'm hoping to make some Hannibal food for my next post so keep an eye out.

Jess xx

...And back in time

I decided upon a slightly different look today...

The outfit is certainly not authentic but I bought it as my Christmas outfit because it gave off the '20s/'30s vibe that I wanted. It is a two-piece skirt and top, and has since shrunk in the wash slightly, so fits a bit more tightly.

Hat - TK Maxx

Top/skirt - charity shop

Necklace - hand-me-down from friend

Whilst I was out, I bought a couple of things from the charity shop, including some 1920s cups and saucers and tea plates. Here are a few photographs of some of the other things:

I bought these tap shoes because I thought re-learning tap might help me with my technique for dance.

Jess xx